To understand what I was interested in, I went through a very long brainstorming. First, I chose the site I was interested in, which was the bridge near the CSM. After choosing this site, I tried to understand why I liked this space particularly. By observing, drawing, automatic writing, and following people on the bridge, I attempted to get some inspirations. During the research, I had an idea to do a performance on the bridge, however, I could not develop it further. As I kept writing, I came to the idea of fear after following the old man who looked fearless. I realised that I had a lot of fear: self-doubts (whether I could create something) and inferiority (I am not as good as others because I have never had proper art training).
Talking about the story of the fear to my friend, he told me an interesting story. Once he was in the critic session of the filmmaking school with other students, and he was the only one who got a compliment. However, instead he felt happy, he got scared that everyone would have hated him because of that. That night, he dreamt that he was surrounded by three human figures and one of them tried to drag him. It was too realistic to wake him up.
This idea generated the image of a man sleeping in the black space under the spotlight. Instead of developing the bridge, I decided to develop the theme of theme and this visual.
2. Prepare for the experimentation
Based on the theme, I created the rough draft. Rather than creating the narrative, I decided to experiment with how people can move within the space. I recruited Pablo as a main performer and Paniz as a movement director.
3. First Experimentation
At this point, I had no ideas about what is going to happen. Before starting shooting in the backspace with the spotlight, we hired a small space and investigated the movement of our body: how the body could work when we were trying to sleep. We experimented with the movement with music, physical and sound interruption, etc.
4. Analyse and develop what we have done
I decided roughly what to do on the black lab next based on what we have done.
5. Second Experimentation in the black lab and outside
We hired a black lab and recorded experimentation with the video camera. This time, we applied live music inviting a violinist and the sound violin responded to the movement of Pablo.
6. Third Experimentation in the black lab
This time, although it was still an experimentation style, the aim was to record specific movements. With footages from both shootings, I tried to build the narrative. There are some interesting shots but I was still not sure what was going to be. https://assets.adobe.com/public/eaea9ab2-0fd6-4d1f-43e0-80562b8548f9
7. Assembling and building narrative
By the end of 2020, I created 8 mins video only from the third recordings. I did succeed to build the narrative, however, it was not strong enough.
8. Articulate the concept again and articulate the narrative with more effort in montage
At this point, I could not understand what I was making about. After some feedback sessions, we concluded the video was no longer about fear but about sleeping. I researched more about sleeping. As I kept researching, Paniz (one of the crews) told me a word called Hypnagogia. By researching about Hypnagogia, I realised the video was exactly about this: the experience of the transitional state from wakefulness to sleep. What was more interesting was the cause of Hypnagogia; it was caused by anxiety, stress, fear. Now it is connected!
The next question was how to create an interesting narrative of Hypnagogia in the video: it should have been interesting enough to let people watch until the end. (My friend could not watch the previous version until the end.) I referred to some techniques of video artists and experimental films. At the same time, I reviewed the meaning/interpretation of each movement and shot from all footages (4 hours in total). This process helped me to create a clear sense to develop a narrative.
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